I must have thought wrong about everything

I never thought, you would walk out on me.
I never thought, you would once start to become my enemy.
I never thought, you'd tell me to, "stick that in my pipe and smoke it."
I never thought, you'd drink or do drugs again.
I never thought, I would be disappointed in you.
I never thought, you would lie to me.

I wish, you actually cared.
I wish, I could say that you didn't hate me.
I wish, I could tell myself that your actually a great individual.
I wish, I could see you and not actually have hate towards you.
I wish, you would actually say sorry.
I wish, you would try to reach out and talk to your daughter.

I once, looked up to you.
I once, thought you'd be there forever and never walk away.
I once, thought I forgave you.
I once, thought you'd stay by my side when I was ill.
I once, thought you'd say sorry every time you messed up.
I once, thought you'd be the person I could tell everything to.
I once, thought you were the greatest man in the world.
I once, thought I could go to you with my problems.
I once, thought I could trust you.
But, I also once thought you wouldn't turn your back on me.
I also thought you'd stay sober after you were off probation.

I said, I didn't want anything to deal with you but that didn't mean I wanted you to stop trying.
I said, things that I meant, and you said things I never thought you would have said to me.
I said, I wasn't sorry and that was the truth, but I would of thought you would have said sorry to me for once.
When I had said that I didn't care that you never try I actually do care because in the end I believe everybody deserves and needs a father in their life.

I just wish I could say that I had a father in my life.
I never thought you'd betrayed your only daughter for drugs or alcohol.
I actually thought you'd stay sober after you were off probation but I must have thought wrong and thought about a lot of things that were wrong.
I thought you'd be there forever and a day.

Father, why do you hate me?