I must have thought wrong about everything

I never thought, you would walk out on me.
I never thought, you would once start to become my enemy.
I never thought, you'd tell me to, "stick that in my pipe and smoke it."
I never thought, you'd drink or do drugs again.
I never thought, I would be disappointed in you.
I never thought, you would lie to me.

I wish, you actually cared.
I wish, I could say that you didn't hate me.
I wish, I could tell myself that your actually a great individual.
I wish, I could see you and not actually have hate towards you.
I wish, you would actually say sorry.
I wish, you would try to reach out and talk to your daughter.

I once, looked up to you.
I once, thought you'd be there forever and never walk away.
I once, thought I forgave you.
I once, thought you'd stay by my side when I was ill.
I once, thought you'd say sorry every time you messed up.
I once, thought you'd be the person I could tell everything to.
I once, thought you were the greatest man in the world.
I once, thought I could go to you with my problems.
I once, thought I could trust you.
But, I also once thought you wouldn't turn your back on me.
I also thought you'd stay sober after you were off probation.

I said, I didn't want anything to deal with you but that didn't mean I wanted you to stop trying.
I said, things that I meant, and you said things I never thought you would have said to me.
I said, I wasn't sorry and that was the truth, but I would of thought you would have said sorry to me for once.
When I had said that I didn't care that you never try I actually do care because in the end I believe everybody deserves and needs a father in their life.

I just wish I could say that I had a father in my life.
I never thought you'd betrayed your only daughter for drugs or alcohol.
I actually thought you'd stay sober after you were off probation but I must have thought wrong and thought about a lot of things that were wrong.
I thought you'd be there forever and a day.

Father, why do you hate me?

Cheyanne's First Christmas

I'm really excited for Christmas this year because it's my daughters first. I can't wait to watch her play with the wrapping paper and stuff because you know that she'll be more interested in the christmas lights on the tree and the wrapping paper more then her own toys. I had gotten her a nice snow suit for her to wear for when the winter actually starts, a hat, boots, pajamas, etc. One thing that is frustrating me though is that their isn't any snow on the ground! I don't want a brown Christmas I want a beautiful white one.

Let it snow!

Christmas List

My christmas list is going to be very short and very simple. At this point I'm more concerned about getting stuff for Cheyanne and getting the things that I need, I honestly could careless on what I got for Christmas.

• A sifter for baking
• Measuring spoons and cups
• cookie pans
• highchair for Cheyanne
• Blanket!
• $$$$
• Clothes
• Sock
• Nail gift Certificate

130 hours!!!

Last grading period I didn't make my hours, which is abnormal for me because this is my first time sense February not making my hours. I didn't do very much independent work out of school last grading period, and I definitely didn't try either. I'm going to make my 130 hours this grading period by, doing a lot more independent work out of class and taking advantage of doing as much work as possible during the school day, and try staying focused and not easily getting distracted.

Continued...

So now it's the end of the grading period and I'd have to say that, I'm not that confident that I made my hours. I tried doing the best that I could but, I had gotten distracted a lot during the school day and just a lot of stuff has been going on lately so I didn't put school first. We'll see how it goes.

Blogging

What I have learned from taking this class is, different computer skills like putting pictures onto a blog, putting captions, etc. It was also fun reading and learning about other peoples lives or what their interested in. I do like the idea of blogging because it's a good technique I think to have for the future ahead of you also, and you can express different things in a different way. I would like to continue blogging for credit. I would continue the same theme that I have been doing basing it on my daughter because their is so many things to share about her as I watch her grow and while she learns different things. I probably could set up a blog for a business and maintain it but, in certain areas I probably would need help. Because anything on the internet can be confusing in some way or another.

Anniversary disaster?

So yesterday was John and my 2 year and 3 month anniversary. We had decided to go to New Richmond to pick up some tools from his bosses house to do some house work around the house for my mother. As we we're leaving my house I had realized that my tire was low so I had told John that we needed to pump the tire up, all he had said was, "We'll do it once we get to Stillwater." Well, we ended up forgetting to fill the tire up and once we had gotten down the road about 4 and a half miles from his bosses house after picking up the tools we had gotten a flat tire. We had a donut tire for the way back but we had no jack. So we ended up walking four and a half miles to his bosses and back. I was so mad, it was definitely not what I wanted to do was walk nine miles on our anniversary.

If I had a $150...

Bathroom set (towel, wash cloths, etc)
42.00

If I have $150.00 I would go shopping for my daughter, Cheyanne. I would go to babies r us to shop for her because, they have really cute things and almost everything that a baby needs. I would by Cheyanne warm things that range from sweatsuits to pajamas, boots, hats, etc, sense winter is coming up fast. I would just spend the money that I got on Cheyanne.  The sweatsuit that I picked out for Cheyanne below costs around $26.00

BabiesRus

Sweat suit

Worst movie

Blades of Glory I thought was just the most horrible movie that I ever saw in theaters and was definitely a waste of my time and money. The reason why I didn't like this movie was because I thought it was just a pointless plot and seriously the most dumbest movie I have ever seen. I couldn't keep my attention on the movie, my friend Sarah started doing push ups during the movie because she was just that bored. I thought the movie was dumb because, two guys in the Olympics it just had a horrible plot, I don't really have much to say but that the movie sucked. And that we walked out because it was just horrible, and I know that would never take the time out of my day again to see this movie and watch it.

Four Months!!!

Cheyanne turned four months the other day on the 29th, she's growing up so fast. I can just remember four months ago when I had her and it just seems like it was just yesterday. Now at four months she can hold her head up high when she's laying on her stomach on the ground, she can stand up on her own when you're holding her hands, she's cooing, jumping in her jumper, and starting to teeth . Before I know it Cheyanne will be walking and talking in just a matter of a blink of my eye. I'm so proud of my daughter in every way possible and I will continue being proud of her as she grows and gets older. I'm nervous at the same time for Cheyanne to get older but, I'll be happy in every way possible. Each and every day I'm smiling when I'm with her, and when I'm not with her I'm wishing that I was. I love my daughter to death! (:

A good song

Inside peanut butter outside jelly

7 days of the week 7 different chevys

Black SS wit tha top blown off

Fuckin' with them boys get ya top blown off

(Verse 1)Got an old white Chevy peanut butter top sameColorFlows out tha back wood steering wheel to match my leather24 inches off the ground like JeezyGot that thang on me so you better take it easyCatch me in tha hood knockin' pictures off tha wallSittin' sideways like that nigga Paul WallGot a 454 and its all chromed outJust bought a platinum grill like the one up in myMouthNiggas down South all we do is ride heavyCoulda had a Bentley but I'd rather ride ChevyPistol in my lap give a fuck about tha lawHoes see me comin' and they all gon' ballGot 10 bad bitches and they all gon' callGot 5 screens and they all gon' fallOld school, new school we done had 'em allMy niggas ridin' Chevy so we all gon' ball
(Chorus X2)
(Verse 2)Monkey see monkey doSo everybody got a Chevy350 wit' tha Flow match now that bitch runs heavyKeep it clean plus ride good when I'm rollin' thruTha hoodI get down in it that bitch sounds goodAnd for you niggas who snitches shit you can't beTrustedMight as well call me Lee Dungarees I can't beBustedBut I'm Cadillac Don nigga a real fuckin' hustlerRidin' thru tha South spreadin' this game likeMustardI'm a Cadlliac rider true enough but I ball in aChevyWhen I strut my stuff makin' money can't get enoughHaters get mad they fuss and cussCheck my rep I drop tha topLean out tha Chevy let the .45 popPedal to tha metal can't wait for cops16 switches watch that ass gone dropWe hittin' tha curb 3 wheel motionSeein' double drinkin' on tha potionI'm a movin' I'm "hustlin' flowin"Gettin' paid stackin' tokensFor this boy y'all niggas ain't readyGimme tha crown I deserve tha creditOr catch me fuckin' yo' bitch in a ChevyInside butter outside grape jelly
(Chorus X2)
(Chorus X2)

Peanut butter jelly time yoo

The reason why this is my favorite song is because, it brings back good memories. The memories that I'm talking about is memories with Cheyanne's dad John. When we hung out everyday and we're in the car we found this song one day, so soon after that it became "our song" and our nicknames soon came "Peanut butter, and jelly" I know cheesy right? But, it just kind of stuck with us, and I know that whenever I hear this song I always think back to when  I thought things were going to be alright and, soon after that things were absolutely alright. I know this song will always stick with me and will always put a smile on my face. (:

Blog critiquing?

In the blog that I'm about to write about I surfed the internet and found two blogs about being a mom, one that I like and one that I don't like. The first one I'm going to talk about is about the one that I didn't like. My reasoning why I didn't like this blog is because, their isn't a lot of stuff about herself being a mom, or anything about her kid. Sure their is a lot of pictures and links about different things and stuff which is good but, it's not a whole lot about herself and home life. The top of the blog looks good, with a picture of her own kid and her title saying, "Mom blog." Also, I don't like how it has things like advertising things on their own page and talking about sales. I think if you're going to have a mom blog that you should be sharing about your life, and whats it like at your house with being a mom etc. I also thought that her background could of been more about things dealing with her mom or at least a better color. The link below will show you the blog that I'm talking about that I didn't like.
http://mom-blog.com/

The next blog that I will be critiquing and talking about is called, "The Joys of Being a Mother" the reason why I like this blog is because the women that did the blog is discussing things about her kids. The blogger posted pictures of her children and explained what the picture was about. I also thought that her background idea was a theme sense it was kind of "kidish" but, in a good way it just fitted her theme in a good way. The blogger had also stated a few things about when she was pregnant with one of her children. All in all I thought the blog was good and she stuck to her theme that she was going for also, her title of her blog was good idea. And the pictures were great and well explained. The link below will also show you the blog I'm talking about that I liked.
http://www.thejoysofbeingamother.blogspot.com/

Flu season arrives

Flu season has arrived too fast and Cheyanne needs to get her flu shot. But, in order for me to be able to get Cheyanne's flu shot I need to get her medical insurance. Not only does Cheyanne not have medical insurance but neither do I. Today I'm going to go up to the Cottage Grove government center to turn in John's (cheyannes dad) social security number and ID, so I hope the process will go through fast. I'm in debt with hospital bills so I really hope that this is going to help me out also. Cheyanne not only needs to get her flu shot but also she needs to get all her other shots for when she turned two months, its definitely way past due. Cheyanne is turning four months on the 29th. Not only does she have to get her two month old shots but, I'm pretty sure that's only half of them. I'm nervous for her to get her shots, I hate when she cries its definitely the worst thing ever to hear my sweet little baby girl cry. I hope the process of getting medical goes by fast! I don't know what I'd do if my little girl gets sick, I'm definitely nervous for winter to come.
http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/vaccineeffect.htm
Above is a link all about flu vaccines.

Cheyanne's first pumpkin patch

On October 10, 2011 Cheyanne went to her very first pumpkin patch. We went to Country Sun off of highway 36 in Stillwater. Cheyanne dressed up as a little lamb! Yes, I know that she's really young and probably doesn't know a whole lot whats going on but, walking around with her felt the greatest. When we were looking at the goats and sheep she just looked so amazed on what was going on around her, she as smiling and cooing to me as I talked to her. It's the greatest feeling when I see her happy when she does something new, goes some place new, or just see's new things. The reason why its the greatest feeling is because she has so many things to come across that all of us now think that its boring but, in her eyes its probably the coolest thing. I can defineitly say that I'm not looking forward to her getting older but, I'll watch her grow and be the happiest, most supporting and undestanding mother that I can possibly be.

A little writing for Cheyanne

You’ve become everything I now know,
You’ve become everything I want.
You’ve become apart of me,
You’ve become the one for me,
You’ve become everything I need in my life,
You’ve become my daughter.

You’ve grown so much sense the cool October day,
that cool October day on the beach, with the two I only knew, your daddy and grandmother.
You were just eight weeks when I found out you
were apart of me. You were just so little and so sweet.
My daughter: you’re so precious, so little, so sweet, so active, so fragile, so cute. I cannot wait for you to come, the more I think, the more I get excited.

Baby girl, what I’m here to say is,
I love you.

The day before Cheyanne came

Dr. Weber with us at 1:30 AM!

June 28, 2011 was one of the best days of my life, the reasoning was because my doctor Mr. Weber was going to induce me. I went to Lakeview hospital birth center, which you can get to that site at the link pervided  http://www.lakeview.org/birth_center.aspx. I wasn't getting induced to have Cheyanne because she was late, or their was complications in my pregnancy it was because I was "ready." My doctor was retiring on the Friday of July 1st, Thursdays he wasn't in and on Friday's he did cesareans so he decided to have me come in on that Tuesday. The reasoning for this was because I didn't want anybody else to deliver my baby. My mother, grandmother, and one of my friends, Sarah were in the room to support me when I had her. My Father, Heidi, Sam and Logan my friends were out in the waiting room. I ended up laboring for 15 and a half hours, and it took me four hours for my sweet little Cheyanne to come out. Cheyanne was born at 1:30 am and had weighed 7 lbs, 6 oz and was 19 and a half inches long, she was a healthy baby. This was the best day of my life, I had gotten to meet my sweet daughter, which I had been waiting nine and a half months to meet. 

Things to bring along in a diaper bag!

Diaper bag musts: 

•  Diapers
• Wipes
• Formula
• Bottles
• Nursery Water

Diaper bag mights: 

• Extra pair of clothes
• Onsies
• Pajamas
• Pedialite
• Thermometer 
• Bibes 

I have learned what you must bring along in you're diaper bag also, what could be useful for yourself and your child sense I had my daughter. Before if I was to have to take care of an infant and bring them along with me somewhere I probably would have forgotten to put something inside the diaper bag. I have learned as time has progressed on to always double check you're diaper bag. If you forget something that you're going to need for your child in your diaper bag its hard to find things around you. I have realized that if I bring extra things along in the diaper bag for my daughter Cheyanne it makes things a lot easier on me. Because, if Cheyanne would have spit up or something on her clothes I would be able to change her.

 

Starting off

 

 

In the blog that I'm about to do I'm going to talk a lot about  being a teen mom, teen pregnancy, struggles with situations you come across with being a young mom, also just life in general. In the picture I posted above is a picture of my daughter Cheyanne and myself  when Cheyanne was about a month old. Cheyanne, is now three months old and was born on June 29th, 2011. Being a single mom isn't nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be but, at times it can be plenty frustrating, and stressful. But, at the same time I wouldn't change anything for the life of me. My daughter has completed me in every way imaginable.