I must have thought wrong about everything

I never thought, you would walk out on me.
I never thought, you would once start to become my enemy.
I never thought, you'd tell me to, "stick that in my pipe and smoke it."
I never thought, you'd drink or do drugs again.
I never thought, I would be disappointed in you.
I never thought, you would lie to me.

I wish, you actually cared.
I wish, I could say that you didn't hate me.
I wish, I could tell myself that your actually a great individual.
I wish, I could see you and not actually have hate towards you.
I wish, you would actually say sorry.
I wish, you would try to reach out and talk to your daughter.

I once, looked up to you.
I once, thought you'd be there forever and never walk away.
I once, thought I forgave you.
I once, thought you'd stay by my side when I was ill.
I once, thought you'd say sorry every time you messed up.
I once, thought you'd be the person I could tell everything to.
I once, thought you were the greatest man in the world.
I once, thought I could go to you with my problems.
I once, thought I could trust you.
But, I also once thought you wouldn't turn your back on me.
I also thought you'd stay sober after you were off probation.

I said, I didn't want anything to deal with you but that didn't mean I wanted you to stop trying.
I said, things that I meant, and you said things I never thought you would have said to me.
I said, I wasn't sorry and that was the truth, but I would of thought you would have said sorry to me for once.
When I had said that I didn't care that you never try I actually do care because in the end I believe everybody deserves and needs a father in their life.

I just wish I could say that I had a father in my life.
I never thought you'd betrayed your only daughter for drugs or alcohol.
I actually thought you'd stay sober after you were off probation but I must have thought wrong and thought about a lot of things that were wrong.
I thought you'd be there forever and a day.

Father, why do you hate me?

Cheyanne's First Christmas

I'm really excited for Christmas this year because it's my daughters first. I can't wait to watch her play with the wrapping paper and stuff because you know that she'll be more interested in the christmas lights on the tree and the wrapping paper more then her own toys. I had gotten her a nice snow suit for her to wear for when the winter actually starts, a hat, boots, pajamas, etc. One thing that is frustrating me though is that their isn't any snow on the ground! I don't want a brown Christmas I want a beautiful white one.

Let it snow!

Christmas List

My christmas list is going to be very short and very simple. At this point I'm more concerned about getting stuff for Cheyanne and getting the things that I need, I honestly could careless on what I got for Christmas.

• A sifter for baking
• Measuring spoons and cups
• cookie pans
• highchair for Cheyanne
• Blanket!
• $$$$
• Clothes
• Sock
• Nail gift Certificate

130 hours!!!

Last grading period I didn't make my hours, which is abnormal for me because this is my first time sense February not making my hours. I didn't do very much independent work out of school last grading period, and I definitely didn't try either. I'm going to make my 130 hours this grading period by, doing a lot more independent work out of class and taking advantage of doing as much work as possible during the school day, and try staying focused and not easily getting distracted.

Continued...

So now it's the end of the grading period and I'd have to say that, I'm not that confident that I made my hours. I tried doing the best that I could but, I had gotten distracted a lot during the school day and just a lot of stuff has been going on lately so I didn't put school first. We'll see how it goes.

Blogging

What I have learned from taking this class is, different computer skills like putting pictures onto a blog, putting captions, etc. It was also fun reading and learning about other peoples lives or what their interested in. I do like the idea of blogging because it's a good technique I think to have for the future ahead of you also, and you can express different things in a different way. I would like to continue blogging for credit. I would continue the same theme that I have been doing basing it on my daughter because their is so many things to share about her as I watch her grow and while she learns different things. I probably could set up a blog for a business and maintain it but, in certain areas I probably would need help. Because anything on the internet can be confusing in some way or another.

Anniversary disaster?

So yesterday was John and my 2 year and 3 month anniversary. We had decided to go to New Richmond to pick up some tools from his bosses house to do some house work around the house for my mother. As we we're leaving my house I had realized that my tire was low so I had told John that we needed to pump the tire up, all he had said was, "We'll do it once we get to Stillwater." Well, we ended up forgetting to fill the tire up and once we had gotten down the road about 4 and a half miles from his bosses house after picking up the tools we had gotten a flat tire. We had a donut tire for the way back but we had no jack. So we ended up walking four and a half miles to his bosses and back. I was so mad, it was definitely not what I wanted to do was walk nine miles on our anniversary.

If I had a $150...

Bathroom set (towel, wash cloths, etc)
42.00

If I have $150.00 I would go shopping for my daughter, Cheyanne. I would go to babies r us to shop for her because, they have really cute things and almost everything that a baby needs. I would by Cheyanne warm things that range from sweatsuits to pajamas, boots, hats, etc, sense winter is coming up fast. I would just spend the money that I got on Cheyanne.  The sweatsuit that I picked out for Cheyanne below costs around $26.00

BabiesRus

Sweat suit